


Hold me like you used to

by hyuckios



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Established Relationship, Growth, Kissing, Lack of Communication, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Personal Growth, Reuniting, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, mark and donghyuck are very in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24931453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckios/pseuds/hyuckios
Summary: “Some things about you are different, Donghyuck,” Mark mutters softly, the words falling right past his lips as he cups the younger’s cheek. “Your hair is different, you changed the style in which you dress, but your touch remains the same — it’s beautiful.”-After almost two years of distance pulling at their hearts, Mark and Donghyuck reunite.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 18
Kudos: 455





	Hold me like you used to

**Author's Note:**

> Here we have a fic that will show you a lot of relationship growth as well as personal growth, and I really hope you can see the love through the lines and through the struggles that they have to deal with. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys! Please leave a comment below if you want to.

Shoelaces undone and sleeves a bit too long, Mark jogs down the familiar path near his apartment, the path that he had become so accustomed to since he had moved in.

He hasn’t even thought of finding a new path to run along, no, never, really. He’s not really someone who likes to change up the routine of how he likes to workout, or how he likes to kick his heart up and get it beating too fast for his own good. Some days, he’ll go on a run down the path _just_ for the racing heart feeling, because he misses the way Donghyuck used to make him feel that way. 

He’ll lean against a tree and call himself a fool, hands curling onto the bark, scrapes developing into his skin as he thinks about how silly he must look — or even how silly he _is._

There are too many memories along the path that he runs. 

Memories in the rain, in the snow, in the blistering heat, all laced with laughter, light kisses, too much of it that it's beginning to fog up Mark’s memory. 

He runs to chase the memories — to chase them so he doesn’t forget. 

So he doesn’t forget _him._

Mark hasn’t felt Donghyuck’s skin in almost two years and it’s gotten to the point where he forgets whether or not he is warm. He _knows_ Donghyuck is warm, but he cannot remember the feeling of him. He can’t remember how Donghyuck felt when he’d run his fingers down his shoulders to the base of his elbow or when he’d hold his hand. It’s almost like Donghyuck’s warmth is slipping away from him. 

So, Mark will run. 

He’ll chase and chase after it in hopes that he’ll suddenly remember the feeling of him. 

Sure, he’ll call him at nights, or when neither of them are busy. He’ll listen to the way Donghyuck’s voice sounds like thick honey moving so slowly through his ears. It’ll heat up his insides, making the creases of his knees warm for absolutely no reason. It’ll make butterflies soar across his neck, behind his ears, and in the pit of his stomach, all from Donghyuck just picking up the phone. But, not being able to reach over and graze his fingers across the boy’s face is horrendously heartbreaking, and Mark wishes he could find a way to touch him once more. 

_“Leaving?” Mark chuckles with a broken breath, his hands tingling as they leave Donghyuck’s sides._

_The younger cradles his own body as soon as Mark releases his grip on him. He craves warmth, he needs it, but Mark is so upset upon hearing the words, upon knowing that the love of his life is suddenly going to leave him, that he cannot even touch Donghyuck at a time like this. Maybe it’s selfish of him not to hold Donghyuck in the moment, but Donghyuck understands, he knows, and he lets Mark have the moment._

_“Yes,” Donghyuck sniffles as he tilts to his side to mess with the angel sitting at the bottom of Mark’s necklace. “I’m leaving, and I am so sorry.”_

_But Mark doesn’t take that as an answer. Instead, he leans down and grabs Donghyuck’s chin lightly, lifting it up until his lips are parting, and until he can kiss him in the sweetest most languid kind of way._

_“Don’t ever say sorry,” Mark tells him as he leans back against the headboard, pulling Donghyuck further into his arms._

_Mark knows why he's leaving. He knows that Donghyuck has the opportunity of a lifetime, an opportunity to grow in the business he works in — a promotion, just somewhere far away from him._

_He holds Donghyuck tight like he never has in his entire life, he holds him like he’s going to lose him, because in reality... he is._

× 

Mark makes way too many boxes of mac and cheese when his friends come over, but he tries not to think about it. He thinks maybe he'll just put the rest into containers and evenly give them off to his friends so they can take it home and eat the rest in a few hours, since they're already complaining about how they're ready to take some more onto their plates.

He changes the subject quickly and fills their glasses with another shot of vodka, something that makes their lips a little tingly as they dip it back into their throats, skin rising with goosebumps as soon as the liquid moves down. 

"Man," Renjun chuckles to himself. "Donghyuck would take this like a champ if he were here. I can't take shots for shit."

Mark stiffens at the mention of the name, his own throat burning more than the alcohol just did. He even licks his lips, trying to see if there's any excess taste anywhere around his mouth, just so he can catch a last taste, just so he can see if there's a burn that he can feel that'll sting more than his boyfriend's name. 

But, there is none. 

So, he's forced to suffer on hearing Donghyuck's name echoing in his head, a name that he wishes he could say himself in a teasing way, a name he wishes he could say as he reaches out to grab onto that boy, fingertips tingling against his skin as he pulls him onto his lap, especially in a situation where he's in front of his friends. He wants to laugh at them as he rubs his thumb over Donghyuck's hip, leaning back in the chairs on the patio as they look over the fire. 

They've done it before, and Mark knows that Donghyuck would lean into his neck and kiss under his ear to whisper the kindest words, probably ones that are teasing, ones that encourage him that they should speed this up and head to the bedroom. 

This would always result in Mark slapping his hand playfully against Donghyuck's hip as he pushes him upward until he's standing, following him right after, where Mark would then tell his friends that they were going to get some sleep. If the others were spending the night, they'd give each other little smiles and tell Mark and Donghyuck to keep it down. 

Mark, of course, would flip them off, but Donghyuck would always present a wink as he tugs Mark to the bedroom upstairs.

But instead, Mark sits alone, a drink in his hand as he stares forward, wishing he had the love of his life alongside him, lips pressed against his neck, hands placed daintly on his chest. 

He sucks in a gasp when he tries to remember the feeling. 

_He can't._

"Mark?" Renjun asks, snapping his fingers in front of his face. "Woah, what's wrong, you look like you've seen a ghost."

But, Mark can't answer. He only turns his head in the direction of Renjun's body and drops his shoulders, opening and closing his mouth as he tries not to let his emotions roll over and out of his eyes. 

There's pieces of himself that he'll never let come forward, but Mark feels so damn broken as he tries to recall Donghyuck's touch, that suddenly he doesn't care whether or not his friend sees. 

"Come here, Mark," Renjun whispers as he looks over to the others in the room. "Just, come here."

Mark does.

He falls into the embrace, the touch that is real, that is warm, the touch that he can rely on right now. It's not exactly the touch that he needs, but it's there, and he needs to be held, so he lets himself. He curls his fingers around the bottom part of Renjun's shirt and bites down so hard on his lip that he draws blood, all before he sucks in a sharp breath of air. 

"Mark, you've gotta remember that it's okay," he hears a new voice, one that is not Renjun's. 

He thinks that maybe Yukhei has come a little closer, and maybe his hands are on him, too, because things feel warmer, softer, all as Mark closes his eyes, letting the alcohol take over his body for a few solid minutes. 

It's the relaxation that hits soon, and suddenly Mark hears silence. 

"Miss me or what, baby?" he hears next. "I'm here, Mark. What's wrong?" 

He feels the phone being pressed up against his ear, so in a hurry, Mark sits up and pulls on it, tugging and pulling until it's pushed hard on his face. 

"I'm—" He pauses as he stutters, hardly able to get any words out. 

"Start slower," he hears Donghyuck say.

Mark clears his throat, embarrassment flooding into his body, coating over each vein, over every muscle, making him feel like he's become a burden for even feeling upset about this kind of thing in the first place. 

"I think I have forgotten what your touch feels like."

Mark Lee isn't going to lie to his boyfriend, ever.

When silence fills the line, Mark thinks he understands what it's like the feel your chest tighten up in nervousness. 

He gets a giggle in response.

"I suppose I will have to come touch you again soon then, hmm?"

Mark furrows his eyebrows, trying to concentrate on what is being said.

"Donghyuck, I—"

"I love you."

Mark starts to cry. He doesn't understand Donghyuck sometimes. The way he'll pull the sweetest things out of his ass, in the middle of nowhere, making Mark want to melt, or the way he'll pick a fight for the most annoying reasons, making Mark want to push him away for about 28 minutes until he comes back wanting to talk things through. 

It's not easy being in a relationship with Donghyuck, but Mark hates easy.

He loves Donghyuck more than life, he wants to spend the rest of his life with him, he wants to wake up on Sunday mornings and make breakfast for him, wants to check in the bedroom to assure that he's still sleeping even when he drops the pan and makes the loudest sound that could wake up the entire neighborhood. 

He wants to kiss Donghyuck on Wednesday nights when he comes home from work, when he's grumpy and not even in the mood for things like sweet kisses. But still, Mark wants to wrap his arms around him, pinch the side of his waist and pull him tight against him until he's repeating words of how important he is, how proud of him he is, and how much he loves him. 

He wants Donghyuck late into Monday nights, when he's kissing him so deeply and giggling on his mouth. He especially wants him thirty minutes later when he's swallowing every whimper he has to offer, when his legs are hooked around Mark's back and when he's asking Mark to fuck him harder. 

"Yeah?" Mark whispers to him a moment later, as soon as he gains enough strength to say something in return. 

Donghyuck chuckles, "Yeah, Mark," he takes a moment before he settles with another reply. "We've hung on for almost two years now, okay? We can do this. At some point, we'll get a place together, go to school, or work, or something, and then you can touch me all you want. I can touch you all the time, too. Then I will make sure you never forget the feeling of me."

Mark cries some more.

× 

He wakes up the next morning with a bit of a migraine, a stinging behind his eyes as the sun peeks in past his thick curtains. Curling his fingers into the covers, Mark pulls them up to his chin. He reaches toward his phone, knowing that he has a text from Donghyuck. It lights his heart up, because he knows that with this kind of light bleeding into his room, it has to be around noon already, so he knows Donghyuck must already be getting ready for his day, must already be working, or doing something to stay busy.

His stomach drops a little when he sees just a few other notifications on his phone, nothing from his Donghyuck. 

With ease, he flips his phone upside down and turns back around, shoving his nose into his pillows.

It isn't long until he hears a knock on his door and a head poking in. 

Yukhei smiles at Mark's body curled up. 

"We made lunch for everyone," he clears his throat. "C'mon sleepyhead, I know you're awake."

Mark groans as he shifts his body, just until he's looking over at Yukhei.

"You guys are still here?" Mark asks as he yawns, tapping his screen carefully to see if Donghyuck has texted him. 

He hasn't. It makes Mark swallow hard. 

"Course," Yukhei grins. "We said we were gonna spend the weekend with you."

Mark ends up making his way to the kitchen to mingle with his friends, to pretend that he didn't cry in front of them only a few hours ago. He knows that his eyes are a bit puffy and that his cheeks must be stained with those tears that he knows they all saw. He shakes off the feeling though, because he knows that his friends don't look at him too harshly because of something like that. 

He grins, checking his phone for the last time, feeling disappointment course through his veins. 

Hours pass, and suddenly Mark is alone in his apartment, wishing he could talk to Donghyuck, who has yet to text him. Mark could text him, he knows that, but he knows that Donghyuck has been extremely busy these days and they've been tense, so he doesn't want to push anything that shouldn't be pushed. 

It's a ridiculous thought, whether he should text his own goddamn boyfriend first or not, but Mark feels weak in a moment like this, especially when his thoughts are just filled with their past fights. 

_"This is fucking ridiculous, you know?" Mark stands up from the couch, slipping out of Donghyuck's grip._

_Heat grows in his chest as he hears the words repeating through him, the words that Donghyuck probably shouldn't have slipped out in the first place._

_"You know I didn't mean it like that," Donghyuck clicks his tongue. "Oh, where are you going?"_

_Mark's feet have already taken off toward the door, his hand hovering over the handle as he tosses his head back._

_"To get some air? I don't fucking know, somewhere away from you, because you clearly don't want me around right now."_

_Donghyuck puts his head in his hands as he lets out a soft groan, his frustration clear through the movements of his body. He mumbles something under his breath, which he knows that Mark hates, especially when they fight like this._

_"Mark, don't be like this," he says to him. "Just, stay here. If you leave, you're going to upset yourself even more. You know this. If you really want some air, then go lie down and I will just go home. This is your apartment, anyway."_

_These words make Mark stand up straighter and make his heart sink._

_It doesn't matter how much the place is Mark's, it's almost just as much Donghyuck's as it is his._

_"Don't go," Mark swallows. "Just give me a few minutes."_

_Donghyuck keeps his mouth shut as he stares over at Mark, biting down on his lip. He stands without another thought, walking over to him, sliding his arms around him to place his cheek on the side of his shoulder, pulling him so close._

_The hug is warm, but there's a line between them that reads something so cold, something that needs to be healed before it can be completely comfortable._

_"Forgive me," Donghyuck presses a soft kiss into his shoulder, and Mark wants to forgive him right there, he wants to scream that everything is okay, because he is so in love with him, he would forgive him right there and drop everything to do anything for him._

_But, the reality is, Donghyuck has upset him, and he needs him to know, so the both of them can heal in the correct way._

_So, Mark cups his cheek and pulls him back, raising an eyebrow at him._

_"Donghyuck," he blinks. "That hurt."_

_The boy nods in the grasp until his cheeks squish. He nods again and again and places his own hand over Mark's, kissing the inside of the boy's palm._

_"I'm sorry," he says as he stares into Mark's eyes. "I promise I will be more careful with my words. Of course I know that you're busy, you make time for me when you can, I know that. You love me, you show me that all the time, Mark."_

_Mark nods his head, giving a weak smile._

_"Can I kiss you?" Donghyuck gives a weak smile._

_Mark looks down before he nods._

_Then he feels the faint feeling of a pair of lips on his own, soft and delicate, something so genuine and warm like he's used to, but this time he feels a new kind of butterflies in his stomach. He smiles into the kiss._

Mark doesn't realize his fingers are touching his lips until his phone is ringing, and until he sees that Donghyuck is calling him. 

He gasps and smiles in an instant, grabbing the phone and hitting accept in barely a second, smiling into the line. 

"Hello?"

"Hey you," Donghyuck's voice comes through. "Sorry that I didn't call or text sooner, I was hanging out with some friends."

Mark just grins.

"It's fine, Hyuck. I've missed you."

"We talked last night, silly boy."

Mark doesn't say anything at first.

"I know," he lets out an airy kind of breath, smile still present on his mouth. "Tell me about your day?"

× 

The conversations between them start to fade, and Mark isn't sure how to handle the feelings inside his head, not really at all. He thinks the lack of communication is okay, that it might just be a bump in the relationship for them, and that it'll heal itself soon, even though his friends are telling him that he needs to be doing the work himself — both him and Donghyuck.

Mark pushes those thoughts aside. 

Surely him and Donghyuck are fine. They have just been too busy to make their typical phone calls, only settling for a few texts once Mark is home from his classes and once Donghyuck is off of work. 

He thinks he's almost forgetting what Donghyuck's voice sounds like, too. A month after realizing that he's beginning to forget his touch, Mark is realizing that he's staring to forget his damn voice as well. 

"It's really not my place to talk about it," Renjun steps in one day when they're drinking smoothies in Mark's car after their evening classes. "He says he's extremely busy, but the moment he has free time, he's out hanging with these guys — and not even hanging, he's out partying, Mark."

Mark bites his tongue.

"I know," he shrugs. "He probably wants to go out, though."

"Well, yeah, but wouldn't you at least take some of that free time and give your boyfriend a call? I mean, fuck, I would. I would be dying to talk to him," Renjun says.

Mark takes a deep breath and huffs out a laugh, letting himself soak in a realization that Donghyuck doesn't want to talk to him when he has the availability to. It's _clear._

"Mark," Renjun says softly. "I am not saying this because I want to hurt you, you know that in general, right? Like—everything I say, it's never to hurt you, right?"

Mark nods his head as he waits for Renjun to continue.

Renjun smiles and sets his fingers on Mark's shoulder, "have you thought about the future of your relationship with him?"

The words make Mark's head spin.

Of course he has. 

He knows he's going to get his place with Donghyuck and that he's going to wake up next to the love of his life, and that he's going to be the happiest boy on the planet. He puts on his best smile and raises his eyebrows so he doesn't show any kind of sad expression. 

"Yes," he nods. "I'll move to him and we'll get our dream place together and it'll be great."

Renjun smiles at him and nods his head, dropping the conversation as a whole.

× 

Mark begins to question his relationship that same night, when the rest of his smoothie cup sweats onto his bedside table.

He can't bring himself to finish it because his head is spinning too much, and he knows he's going to be facetiming Donghyuck in just a few minutes — he knows he's going to be hearing that familiar voice that he hasn't heard in so long. 

He also knows he needs to talk about something he really doesn't want to talk about. 

But the truth is... their relationship doesn't really feel like a relationship lately, it almost feels like something that is only used in times of convenience, and Mark wants Donghyuck all the time. He needs to think about himself. He needs to know if Donghyuck is _in_ or _out._

"Baby," Donghyuck mutters as he pops up on the screen in a red and white striped shirt, a crooked smile on his face as he stands in dimmed lighting. 

Mark gives him a kind grin, something soft and genuine, because it always is. 

Looking at Donghyuck always makes him feel so safe, always makes him want to curl into a warm blanket and bite into some sweet sort of dessert. But, it's the voice on top of the pet name that really gets to him. It makes his insides feel so much softer than they were a moment ago.

 _God, he never wants to give up on this boy, not ever,_ but he knows that they should talk.

"Hi, Hyuck," he waves as he slides further down into his bed. 

Donghyuck just shuffles around before he looks at the camera and observes Mark and his position, then goes on to start mumbling about how he can't get sock off. Mark rolls his eyes at him, making a few jokes about how he's clumsy when he nearly trips over something in his kitchen. 

"I think we should talk," Mark cuts straight to it and then averts his eyes from the screen, a little scared to see the kind of reaction on Donghyuck's face. 

He does hear a hum though, a satisfied one, one that would prove that Donghyuck agrees with him. 

"I think we should," he clicks his tongue. 

Mark hates it. He wants to take it back, because he thinks that Donghyuck and him are going to end this call and no longer be together, and that scares him more than anything in the entire world. So, he bites on the end of his lip and he draws his eyebrows together, blinking about a hundred times before he can even part his lips. He only closes his mouth right after. 

It's silent as Donghyuck continues to reach for a glass of water, setting his phone up against the wall so he can do so with both hands instead of one. 

"Hey, uh—"

"I'm coming home, Mark," Donghyuck blurts out as he walks toward the bedroom. "For good."

Mark stares at him in confusion, this time opening and closing his mouth about a hundred times before he can even think about the next words that he wants to say. He looks at Donghyuck, smiling like an idiot, smiling like he's never smiled before, smiling like he is completely relieved. His eyes are glossy, his fingers are shaking as he sets his phone up against his computer so he can scoot himself back comfortably. 

"You're," Mark starts. "You're coming back?" 

Donghyuck nods his head a bunch of times as he wipes at the corners of his eyes. 

"I like the friends I have made here in the past two years, I do," he tells Mark as he viciously paws away any tears that have fallen. "But, they've offered me the higher managerial position either at this same store, or the one back home. So, I have a choice on whether I want to stay here and take it or move back and work there."

"Oh," Mark drops his voice lower as he thinks about what he had just heard. 

Of course it's a big choice, but the thing screaming at him is the fact that Donghyuck has the open choice to just... _come home._

"Well, you should think about whether you like it—"

"—Mark," he cuts him off with a gentle laugh, and Mark looks up to stare at him. "My love."

"Hm?"

"I said I was coming home for good."

This time Mark can't help the smile that blooms on his face, the smile that shines brighter than any flower in the sun. He drops his face into the pillows, letting out a few sounds of satisfactory humming as he squeezes his fists around the blanket. He then squeals. 

"Look at me," Donghyuck says to him. "Stop hiding. I can't stick my hands through the screen and make you look at me, so I need you to look up for me."

Mark does, and when he does, it's among one of the most beautiful things he's ever seen. 

He's staring at Donghyuck, the boy's eyes bright, his smile even brighter. He’s glowing, Mark would even say, and it’s like the sunshine in the sky in the early mornings, hitting his skin and making it burn in the slightest kinds of ways. 

“Okay, I’m looking,” Mark whispers as he peeks out through his blankets. 

Donghyuck grins at him. 

“Yeah, I see you now, baby,” he smiles at him. “I’m gonna come home to you.” 

“To me?” 

“Yeah, you,” he takes a deep breath. “I wanna be there with you all the time, Mark. I want the good days, the bad days, I just wanna be able to grow with you all the time, no matter what happens. So, I chose to come home so I could be close to you again — cause this distance fucking sucks.” 

“It does.” 

"We've been through a lot, Mark," Donghyuck is crying, and it makes the hair stand up on the back of Mark's neck, it makes his heart crack into tiny pieces. "It's been actual shit, I think, wouldn't you say?"

Mark just nods his head because he doesn't trust his voice enough.

"But, I think this might be good for us, and if you want me in the same way I still want you... then please, would you be happy to accept me back into your life?" He whimpers, clearing his throat right after.

Mark looks away from the screen, averts his eyes to the ceiling to avoid crying any harder.

"God, Donghyuck, you've never left my life," he shakes his head, touching the screen in hopes that he can feel a bit of Donghyuck's warm skin. "It wasn't you who left me, either, baby. We left each other. We literally were torn from each other, and were forced to suffer through figuring out how to deal with being in love from far away. We are kind of awful at it, but we held on, and... and... look at where we are now."

Donghyuck nods his head and rubs his own cheek, kissing the side of his hand. Mark smiles genuinely at the gesture. 

"We have a lot to talk about, but," he takes a deep breath. "I'll be home soon, okay?"

"Okay."

× 

Mark waits patiently for Donghyuck's text message the morning he's supposed to arrive.

It's been three weeks since Donghyuck told him that he was supposed to return home. He was supposed to be in Mark's arms around a week ago, but things got pushed back because he had to stay another week due to a situation at work, so even though he had hurried to pack his things in his apartment, he ended up sleeping in a hotel for the last few days, rushing down to the lobby to grab an apple and a bowl of cereal to eat in the car. 

Mark gets the text message when he's least expecting it, though.

He gets the text message as soon as he turns in his exam. 

Mark feels the buzzing in his back pocket. 

**Donghyuck**  
On my way, baby.

Mark holds his phone to his chest as he spins in a circle in the middle of the hallway, biting on his lip as he makes his way to his next class, hardly being able to keep himself from squealing as he continuously tries to see if Donghyuck has texted him anymore. 

One of his classmates asks him if he's alright, or if he needs to copy his last page of notes because Mark had failed to write down an entire goddamn page of notes that their professor was asking them to write down. 

He chuckles and shakes his head as he makes his way out of the class, already heading to his car, clenching his fists and bumping them against his hips when he slams his door shut. 

It's the feeling of sitting up in a tree like when he was a child, looking out at the world, feeling like he was the most powerful thing ever. He has never felt so good, has never been so comfortable knowing that he's going to be touching Donghyuck again, that he's going to be able to hug, to kiss, to grow with him again. 

There's a swirl in his stomach, something uncomfortable that makes him almost feel sick when he thinks about how he almost thought about going a different route with his relationship.

A knock on his window pulls him out of his thoughts, and all of a sudden he sees a smiling Renjun and Yukhei standing right at his passenger side, tugging on his door like they're begging to be let inside, away from the heat.

Mark unlocks the door and lets both of them in, giving a soft grin and watching how small Renjun is when he gets swallowed up by Mark's passenger seat. 

"Why are you crying?" Renjun gasps as he leans forward and wipes the tears from his cheeks. 

Mark instantly opens his mirror and takes a look at his face, bursting out into a fit of giggles before he wipes his face with the back of his sleeve.

"I was thinking about Hyuck," he shrugs. "He just said he's on his way, which is good, but then I started to think that I almost gave up on him and I thought like, how ridiculous I was for that thought."

Renjun frowns as Yukhei places his hand on Mark's shoulder.

"Mark," Yukhei hums from the backseat. "It's not ridiculous. You were fighting like hell for your relationship, and distance was hard. But, you guys pushed through it, and you even had a three hour talk about how important you are to each other and how you would fight for each other, and that you'd do all of this again if it meant you were going to be together. Right?"

Mark looks over his shoulder and sets his fingers on top of Yukhei's, giving him the kindest sort of smile.

"Right."

"See," Renjun adds onto Yukhei's statement. "Plus, once he comes back, I can almost guarantee that you guys are going to kiss for a good four hours and talk about how much you missed each other."

Mark shakes his head and pushes his friend away, rolling his eyes as he pictures Donghyuck right in front of him. 

The thought almost rocks him into a different kind of universe. It makes him nervous, so nervous that he almost wants to curl up and hide away. It's Donghyuck, it's his boyfriend, the one who he knows more than life, the one he wants to spend every waking hour with — the one he _almost does_ spend every waking hour with. But there's something about seeing him again that makes Mark's stomach fill with warm sand and cold water, like waves on the beach. 

He licks his lips and closes his eyes as he tries to recall that familiar touch, the one he has seemed to forget. 

"Holy fuck," he whispers. "I get to feel his touch again."

"You do," Renjun touches Mark's thigh. "All you want, Mark, you get to touch him all you want."

"Renjun, don't make it sound weird!" Yukhei flicks his ear.

"Not like that!" 

"Oh, no," Mark giggles, "like that, too."

Renjun slaps his own ears, "Ah! hush!"

"I just mean like, I get to touch his skin and memorize every inch of him again, like it'll be the first time all over again."

"Goddamn, you're so in love, aren't you?" Yukhei asks.

"Do you even have to ask him that?" Renjun rolls his eyes. "Look at his face, Yukhei."

Mark hides his cheeks behind his palms as he lets his mind wander back to Donghyuck and the fact that he'll be in his arms in less than a day. _His_ Donghyuck, the one boy he spends most of his time thinking about, the one who he knows he'll eventually drop to his knee for and ask him to marry him. 

Renjun cackles as he pushes his hand back to Yukhei.

"Do you love me like he loves Donghyuck?" He teases Yukhei from the front seat. 

Mark rolls his eyes and stares forward to the buildings at his school, smiling cracking onto his lips.

× 

Mark scrubs almost every inch of his skin with a crushed macadamia exfoliator, making his skin smell warmer than it already does underneath the heat of the water. He runs his fingers up along his neck and holds them underneath his ear for a moment as he thinks about Donghyuck standing there next to him, gripping at his hips, pressing his mouth right there under his ear, whispering so carefully against his skin.

He darts his tongue out to lick his lips and even tilts his head back against the wall as he runs his hand down his chest. 

A whimper rolls off his lips as he trails that same hand down lower until he scratches gently back up, until his hands scratch at the back of his hair. 

When he opens his eyes, he looks over at the doorway, wondering what he would react like if he were to see Donghyuck in the bathroom all of a sudden. 

He thinks maybe he'd stare for a moment in disbelief before he'd just smile and ask him to join him. 

"Oh," Mark whispers to himself as he finishes up. "You are so needy for him."

He laughs at himself as he wraps a towel around his body, the temperature of the air conditioner making goosebumps rise across his skin. He pulls a brush through his hair as he taps on the screen of his phone, sighing when he doesn't see any update from Donghyuck. 

There's a buzzing in his chest, because he knows that any second Donghyuck will be texting him, telling him that he's right around the corner, and then he'll be able to dive right into his neck and remind himself of what exactly Donghyuck smells like — maybe he even has a new cologne after all of this time. 

He's brushing his teeth when the familiar _ding_ of the message spins around the room. 

**Donghyuck**  
I'm pulling up

Mark drops his toothbrush and his towel, he spits into the sink, rinses his mouth, and literally slips into a pair of sweatpants and a shirt as he grabs two different kinds of socks. He sprays on a lazy amount of cologne, sliding into his shoes as he heads out of his door, trying to seem as casual as possible as he watches Donghyuck's car pull into the parking lot. 

All of a sudden, Mark feels sick. 

He can see the outline of Donghyuck's upper body through the window of the car, and he feels his stomach flipping when he comes to realize that it's really him — no one else. Not just someone passing by, not his annoying neighbors coming home to be a little bit too loud until 1 in the morning, no, this is Lee Donghyuck coming home to him. 

He parks right in front of Mark, who puts his hands into the front pockets of his sweats and rocks from side to side, lifting his eyebrows up as he feels the butterflies soaring in his body. 

They're everywhere, not just in his chest like a usual set of them. 

These are at the creases of his ankles, the backs of his knees, they're in his neck and under his ear, and definitely hot and full right in the pit of his stomach. 

He lifts his hand into a tiny wave, seeing Donghyuck wave in return. 

It makes him smile too wide, cheeks going red all of a sudden, and god, Mark has never felt so goddamn shy. 

He walks toward the back of the car, tapping his knuckles on it like he's asking Donghyuck to open the trunk, so he can help him get his suitcases out. Donghyuck opens the driver's side door, and hits the button, poking his head out. 

Mark avoids looking over at him, because he isn't exactly sure what he's going to say or feel when he sees him straight on. 

So instead, he just pulls the largest one out and sets it on the asphalt. 

The sunlight above them is starting to disappear and the weather is almost perfect, something that both of them are in love with, and have always been in love with. It's almost like the world is giving them a great day to reunite. The thought of that makes Mark want to smile. 

He tilts too far to the side and catches a glimpse of Donghyuck's shoulder and the back of his head as he turns, where he soon sees Donghyuck's jawline as he steps out of the car with a smaller backpack that he adjusts on his shoulders. He's still standing by the door, not turning toward Mark, not making any movements and not bothering to say anything — Mark wonders if he's shy. 

A new feeling builds up in his body when Donghyuck shuts the door, dragging his feet as he heads toward the back of the car. 

Mark _knows_ they're about to make the eye contact they've been dying to have for years. 

"You can just pull them out and set them down," Donghyuck says as he stands beside Mark, reaching into the car to pull the smaller one closer to the end of the trunk.

Mark breathes in deep through his nose when he hears him speak so close to him, their arms brushing up against each other as they pull the rest out of the trunk. 

"Okay," Mark tells him as he pulls the next one out. "You got it?"

Donghyuck struggles to pull on one and then laughs as he tugs, half leaned into the car with Mark as he turns his head, both of them finally, _finally,_ looking at each other. 

God, Mark doesn't think anything has ever felt this great in his entire life. He stares deep into Donghyuck's eyes and finds the home he knows he's made inside of them — the home he left behind a long time ago. Granted, he knows that Donghyuck is the one who moved away, but he also knows that he left his home as well, and that kills him. So, the way he stares back into the eyes of the home he knows so well, it all makes him feel so _fucking_ good.

Donghyuck lifts his hand off of the suitcase and touches Mark's cheek, giving a shy grin as he pulls his lips into a straight line. 

_The warmth, the fucking warmth, the touch, fuck._

"Hey," he whispers. 

"Hi," Mark replies in a small voice. 

"You think we can get these all inside in one trip?" Donghyuck giggles. 

Mark warms up when he catches on to the joke, to the feeling that they used to have when they'd play around like this. So, Mark gives him a wink. 

"I think we can try, can't we?"

"That's my boy."

Mark feels the butterflies growing, turning into things with sharper wings, poking around near his heart, hurting him almost, because he feels shy around Donghyuck. 

He'd talk to him on the phone and be fine, but all of a sudden, it's almost like flirting with Donghyuck is so much different, like it's new, unreal, something he hadn't ever done before, and he loves the way it makes him feel deep inside. 

They make it in the apartment in just one trip, both of their hands extremely full, both of them barely tumbling through the door, nearly toppling over the suitcases. Donghyuck pushes them up against the wall and drops his backpack on top of them, taking a look around the apartment with his hands glued to his hips. 

He clicks his tongue, soon running his fingers through his hair, squinting his eyes at the living room. 

"You got a new couch," Donghyuck points out as he looks back at Mark who is just leaned up against the kitchen counter. "And a new table here."

Mark nods his head before he crosses his arms. 

Donghyuck is looking around the apartment, but Mark is only looking at him. 

He's looking at how different his boyfriend looks. 

There's something so much more grown up about Donghyuck. He looks taller, a bit thinner, definitely more built, and Mark can't stop staring at his thighs and his legs in the pair of shorts that he is wearing. He looks down when he is caught staring, a blush rising to his cheeks. 

"You changed a lot in the apartment," Donghyuck says to him as he walks back toward Mark. 

"I did, yeah," he shrugs. "Gave me a huge project to work on over the summer. I painted the bedroom, if you wanna see?"

Donghyuck smiles and raises his eyebrows up as he nods his head in approval. 

It's easy.

Mark just needs to hold his hand out and ask for Donghyuck to place his own right in the palm of Mark's, but there's something that is making him so goddamn nervous that he can barely even look at the boy. Like, _fuck,_ they haven't even given each other a proper hug yet. 

Fighting off every thought in his head, Mark holds his palm out, waiting for Donghyuck to grab on. 

He stares at Mark's hand for a few seconds, and Mark almost panics, wondering if it's too soon or something, but then the boy smiles wider than anything Mark has seen in a long time — and he grabs on.

Mark closes his hand over Donghyuck's own hand and he pulls him to the bedroom, where everything seems to soon fall into place. 

It starts when Donghyuck is admiring the walls, just standing still with his mouth open, gasping at the fact that Mark did a phenomenal job rearranging and redecorating his room. He hadn't ever really talked to Donghyuck about it over the phone, maybe just mentioned it a few times, but it was never spoken about more than once or twice. So, Mark makes his way behind Donghyuck and slips his arms around his waist from behind, resting his chin right at the crevasse of Donghyuck's neck. He sways them from side to side.

Taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes and holds tighter. 

He doesn't even realize that Donghyuck has stopped talking about the walls and the furniture and instead he's holding his own hands over Mark's and he's leaning back into the touch — the familiar touch. 

"This is what I missed," Donghyuck whispers as he leans back to look at the ceiling. 

"Hmm?"

"Just being held by you," Donghyuck walks a few feet forward until they're near the bed. 

He detaches himself and falls onto the bed, opening his arms like he's waiting for Mark to join him. He then kicks his socked feet against the foot of the bed when he notices that Mark is just staring at him. Mark is halfway up the bed and completely frozen, just staring at Donghyuck like he has something to say, or like he's feeling too much in one scene, looking at Donghyuck like _this._

Because, for almost two years, he didn't have him, and now Mark is almost overwhelmed because Donghyuck is _here,_ and he's _safe,_ and he's _smiling._

"Come over here, Mark Lee."

Mark doesn't wait any longer, he practically dives on top of Donghyuck and nuzzles right into his chest as the both of them roll over in the bed, arms wrapped around each other as they finally let the emotions spill, and as they finally let themselves realize how much they missed each other. 

"Fuck, you're back."

"I'm back."

× 

Donghyuck presses a warm kiss to the top of Mark's head, holding it for a second as he pets against the back of his hair.

"Do you still use the same shower products as before?" Donghyuck yawns.

Mark looks up at him and gives him a funny look. 

"No, probably not, why?"

"Cause I need to take a shower," he sits up. "Was just curious if you still had any of that one kind I used to use."

"One kind? And what kind would that be, Donghyuck?" Mark teases him, following him up into a sitting position.

They haven't stopped holding hands since Donghyuck had arrived. They've been glued to each other, desperate to touch skin to skin — desperate to feel a little warmer than they were hours ago. 

"Uh," Donghyuck looks away. "You know, why don't you just come show me what products you have."

"Oh, uh huh" Mark cups his face and places his nose right up to Donghyuck's, squinting his eyes at him. "You're just trying to get me to come take a shower with you."

"So what?" Donghyuck tilts up to kiss the tip of Mark's nose, making the boy recoil and fall back onto his pillows. 

Mark crosses his arms and tries not to smile as he looks at Donghyuck getting out from underneath the covers. 

"So," Mark sits up as though he's going to follow him. "Go take a shower so we can make something to eat and so we can come lie down again."

Donghyuck leans back and lets his eyes close like he's hesitating, all before he leans back in to kiss the side of Mark's face once, taking off into the bathroom. 

Mark ends up lying alone in bed, twirling his fingers as he stares at the ceiling, completely in shock that he's in bed while the love of his life is just a few feet away in the shower. The thought of it almost makes him want to cry, because he's spent so many weeks worrying over the fact that he had been beginning to forget Donghyuck's touch, and now he feels the warmth of his breath lingering against his neck, and the touch lingering on his hip. 

It's incredible really, because Mark's chest starts to rise and fall so quickly, and oftentimes this would happen, and he would maybe give Donghyuck a call, or hug onto the stuffed animal that reminded him of Donghyuck, the one that barely smelled like him anymore — and it would all help him calm down again. 

But now... now he can walk a few feet over to the bathroom and even climb into the shower to wrap his arms around Donghyuck's waist and kiss his collarbones to feel at home again. 

Because that really is what Donghyuck is to him... Donghyuck is his home. 

Always has been and always will be, no matter how many large steps they have to get over. 

Mark pulls himself out of the bed and smiles at the bathroom door that is almost pulled closed, only a few inches open, where he can feel the steam exiting, and where he can hear the soft melody of Donghyuck's humming. He touches his hand on his heart and walks into the kitchen, where he puts together a sandwich, humming that same song that Donghyuck was. 

The boy comes out a moment later, leaning up against the doorframe, his hair matted to his forehead. Mark raises an eyebrow at him as he looks over the island.

"What?" He chuckles at Donghyuck, who is in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. 

Mark's used to seeing him with no top on, he hardly wears one when they're on facetime, but there's something so different about seeing him this close up, his body toned, beautiful — god, Donghyuck really has grown up since Mark last saw him. 

"Nothing, I'm just looking at you," Donghyuck puts the towel over his head and rubs it until his hair is a mess, and until it becomes a little bit dry. 

"At me?" Mark pours him a glass of juice and places the plate and the drink on the table, cocking his head over to it. "It's ready."

Donghyuck swings the towel around his neck before he takes a seat, smiling so sweetly at the boy before he sits down, shaking his head from side to side. 

"What is it?" Mark sits across from him, cupping his own cheeks while he sighs. 

There's so much love in his eyes while he takes a look at Donghyuck, especially when he watches the boy bite into the sandwich and moan annoyingly. Mark can't reach that far across the table to flick him on the head, but he would if he could. Donghyuck sticks his tongue out. 

The poking of his tongue makes Mark think about his lips. 

Mark tries to think about the last time they kissed — it was when they were standing in front of Donghyuck's car, full of tears, pain, and sadness. It tasted like salt, tasted like misery and hopelessness. 

It aches Mark deep in his heart, because he wants nothing more than to just push the food out of the way and kiss Donghyuck until their lips are bruised and until all they know is each other. Mark thinks he's already halfway there, really, because he's already forgotten what time it is, he has no idea where his phone is, and he definitely is only thinking about Donghyuck. 

"Bite?" Donghyuck asks him.

But Mark shakes his head and holds up a piece of chocolate that he unwraps before popping it into his mouth. 

Donghyuck smirks at him while Mark rolls his eyes. 

Silence flows through them, around them, and practically bounces off of each wall in the apartment before it sits kindly in front of them. 

"I'm glad you're here, Donghyuck," Mark swirls the piece of chocolate in his mouth as he narrows his eyes at the boy. "We went through a lot of shit, but we did it to get to this point, and I... I don't even know what to say?"

Donghyuck raises his eyebrows and nods. 

"I know what to say," he holds his palm over his mouth as he finishes chewing and swallowing before he sets his free hand over Mark's. "I love you."

Mark almost starts to cry when he hears the words, sounding so new, so fresh out of Donghyuck's mouth. 

"I love you, Donghyuck," Mark holds his hand tighter. "I'm glad we held on, through all of that."

"Me too," Donghyuck's bottom lip trembles, and Mark notices it and feels his entire body grow cold all of a sudden at the emotion that must be coursing through Donghyuck's veins. 

The younger pushes his chair back and cleans up his plate, wrapping his arms around Mark's body, nuzzling deep into his neck. 

"You smell so good, you know?" Donghyuck noses at his neck, making Mark close his eyes, making him lean his head in the opposite direction to give the boy more access. 

Donghyuck presses a kiss to Mark's jugular. 

He feels his heartbeat kicking, faster and _faster_ as he thinks about those lips across his whole body, at the most sensitive spots of his body. He feels Donghyuck pressing harder there, sucking lighter but pushing his lips harder, a tactic that always had Mark's knees weak in only a few moments. 

"Do you," Mark tries to reach for his shirt but fails and only scratches at his bare skin when he remembers that Donghyuck is shirtless. "Do you remember all my favorite spots to be kissed?"

Donghyuck turns Mark on his hips and looks him deep in the eyes, fingers touching delicately at his chin, eyes soon glueing themselves to his lips. His finger thumbs with his lip before Mark presses a kiss to the digit. Donghyuck smiles at him. 

"I do," he puts his hand around the back of Mark's neck and fiddles with the hair on the nape of his neck and leans until he's whispering against the shell of his ear. "I really do."

Mark holds him at the waist while Donghyuck puts both of his arms around Mark's neck, both of their foreheads pressing together as their breaths tangle, hearts beating at the same time, both of them nervous as they stand in each other's embrace, gently dancing in the kitchen. 

"Take me into the bedroom?" Donghyuck whispers to him.

Mark doesn't hesitate to lift Donghyuck up to the point where Donghyuck hooks his legs around Mark's waist, tightening his arms around his neck as he laughs out loud. 

As they pass around the corner, Mark stops by the wall, encouraging Donghyuck to turn off the main lights. They even double check that the front door is locked, because both of them know that they are not going to be coming back out once they get into the bedroom.

Mark sets Donghyuck down on the bed and crawls over him onto his side, tucking himself underneath the covers as he gets comfortable. Donghyuck fits right into his arms, like the missing piece that Mark has been dying for. 

It's almost like Mark has been holding his breath this entire time, and now he's finally come up for a breath of fresh air, and seeing Donghyuck like this makes him able to breathe a lot easier — a lot simpler. 

Donghyuck stares at him, giggling every few seconds, reaching for Mark's hand so blindly underneath the sheets. 

Mark pulls their tangled hands up until they are resting between their faces, and he watches Donghyuck kiss his palm.

He does it once, twice, and the third time he twists their hands until he can kiss the back of Mark's hand, eyes never leaving Mark's.

"I'm sorry, Mark," he says quietly. 

Mark's expression drops.

"Sorry?" He whispers. "What for?"

An unfamiliar feeling grows in Mark's stomach. 

He trusts Donghyuck, of course he does, but two years is a long time, and now his mind is filling with an uncomfortable spinning cycle of thoughts of what he could be apologizing for. 

"Just for the times we've hurt throughout this," he starts. "I'm sorry for the missed calls, for leaving you for longer than a day, for making you worry about where I was. I'm sorry for making us both question our relationship—"

"—Donghyuck, it wasn't _you._ That was _us._ "

"I know," Donghyuck kisses his hand again, but this time he focuses on his knuckles. "I know, I just... I'm apologizing for it, for both of us, I guess?"

Mark pouts a little. 

"It was shitty, every day, you know? Waking up and going to work, and not being able to spend my lunch breaks with you, or not being able to come home to you, it was all just fucking miserable," Donghyuck whispers against Mark's hand. "I mean, I adapted, you know? I made my friends, they were fun, they took me out, hung out with me, listened to me talk for hours about how in love I am with this guy back home."

Donghyuck rolls his eyes playfully at himself and smirks. Mark shoves him. 

"But, I always wished you were there, you know?" He says, staring off at the wall. "We told each other we couldn't be dependent on each other, because we wanted a healthy relationship, and I wasn't, but... I just wanted to be selfish and be like... _'fuck, Mark, can you move out here with me?_ '"

Mark gives him a soft smile and takes the hand that is covered in kisses and paws at Donghyuck's cheeks. He even leans forward to kiss his cheek, staying still there so he can hold a long kiss against his cheek. Donghyuck holds him at the back of his neck, so close as they hear each other breathing. 

"Stay here, I've got you," Donghyuck mumbles when Mark tries to pull away. 

So, Mark rests his head down between Donghyuck's shoulder and the pillow, still at a perfect angle to be able to see his eyes and his lips. He uses one hand to cup Donghyuck's cheek and rubs gingerly by his neck, just humming as he presses soft kisses into his shoulder. 

"You know," Mark starts. "I kind of had some shitty thoughts myself, too."

"Oh yeah?" Donghyuck peeks down at him, using his free hand to rub into Mark's hip underneath the blanket.

"Mhm. Some days, especially days when we wouldn't talk very much, I just thought like, maybe I should give up my scholarship and find some job over there, and at least I would be closer to you, you know? But, I knew you would be fucking pissed."

Donghyuck scoots back so he can glare at him.

"Damn right I would be fucking pissed," he licks his lips. "You worked so goddamn hard for that, and if you gave that up for me, I would have to kick your ass back here."

Mark digs his nose into Donghyuck's shoulder as he groans. 

"I'm sorry, too," he kisses his skin. "For the bad thoughts, for the worry, for wondering if we were going to be okay or not. It was hard, Donghyuck, it was, but I... fuck, this is gonna sound so fucking awful, shit..."

"Hey, look at me," Donghyuck sits up, pulling Mark up until they're both propped up, until their faces are right in front of each other's. 

He cups Mark's cheeks and gives him a nod. 

"I think I know where you're going with this, and it's okay. We grew through every goddamn minute of being apart, Mark, so I want you to know that it's okay. Let's talk."

Mark nods his head as he takes a deep breath, letting his face relax in Donghyuck's hands.

"Even though we had a bunch of ups and downs, and even though we would sometimes have days where we didn't talk to each other, or days where we were angry, upset, hurt, I never... not once... thought about being with someone else," his bottom lip trembles. "I mean, just recently both of us kind of talked about maybe stepping back from the relationship to focus on ourselves, but that was because of the distance, and how it was fucking with us. It was never — never throughout these two years was I ever thinking about someone else. I trusted you this entire time, and you trusted me, and I, _fuck,_ I am about to cry."

Donghyuck nods his head and tightens his grip on Mark's cheeks. 

"I've got you, if you want to cry — I've got you," he wets his lips. "It was the same for me, no matter how upset we were with each other, or those little breaks we had, or even the times at the beginning where we'd both go out and get so fucked up, I never thought about anybody else. I only ever wanted you, Mark. I wanted you so bad that I was getting fucked up because of it," he giggles.

Mark giggles through his tears as Donghyuck wipes them. 

"Well, that's not very good."

"It's not," he admits. "But, that wasn't a good time, but I got better, and so did you. Could we have done it all again? I don't know. But would I have tried, so I could have you? Fuck yeah, I would. We're definitely stronger now, we know how to approach distance in a better kind of way, we know how to listen to each other. We learned how to communicate, Mark. I've learned so much through you, that I became a better person, myself, and I think that is one of the best things in the world. You taught me how to be patient, you taught me how to be cautious, how to respect the smaller things in life, and I don't know.

"We made mistakes, Mark. We fucked up our communication a lot, we weren't reading each other like we should have, we weren't paying attention to each other like we should have, and we definitely weren't showing love like we should have. But, I think this just means that we learned what we did wrong, ever since we found out what it was we were doing wrong, because since we found out that one day, and since we had that long talk on the phone, remember that, baby? I think mistakes pushed us in the right direction, because this is our second chance. 

"You... here in my arms right now? This is pure bliss. This is almost unreal. When I got that call, when my boss told me I have an opportunity to work at a higher position back home, I almost immediately said yes. Then I thought, let me think about it, because I know Mark would want me to think about this decision. And I did. I thought about it, thought about how I liked it there, how I like my friends, the environment, all of that. But, it didn't have you. I missed you, I missed home, all my old friends, even my family who I hardly talk to.

"I decided that I want this second chance, this opportunity to take these mistakes and turn them around to grow with you, Mark. I wanna learn life with you. I want to grow and try not to fuck up, and if I do, it'll just be me fucking up your breakfast order at our favorite place, it won't be lack of communication and it won't be arguing over bullshit. I don't want that. I want us to grow in a healthy way, because we deserve it. I want to give you the happiest life that you deserve, and I promise that I will. I'll also marry you. I'll marry the fuck out of you."

Mark stares at him, tears pouring down his cheeks, bottom lip pushed out into a pout. 

"Slow," Mark whimpers out as he takes Donghyuck's hands from his cheeks, dropping them onto the mattress.

"We can go slow, Mark, that's fine."

"No," Mark shakes his head. "I'm gonna kiss you really slowly now."

Donghyuck raises his eyebrows, "Oh. Oh, okay."

He's grinning from ear to ear, probably at the thought of being kissed for the first time in almost two years. He's even looking down at the sheets, writing Mark's name into it — but Mark won't ever know that. 

Mark leans in and presses the lightest kiss to Donghyuck's lips, pulling away only a second later.

"Oh, you're trying to go _that_ slow?" Donghyuck opens his eyes and chuckles.

Mark smirks and winks at him. 

"Yes, because I kind of figured we would have the headboard hitting the wall aggressively if we didn't start off slow."

Donghyuck drops his mouth open and cackles.

"Mark!"

Mark rolls his eyes.

"Do you disagree?" Mark smiles playfully.

Donghyuck leans forward until he's wrapping his hands around Mark's neck, arms straight as they're stretched out. He rolls his eyes.

"I didn't say that," he teases. "But, are you implying that you'd..."

"Fuck you?" Mark asks as he raises an eyebrow. "Yes, I am."

Donghyuck falls onto his back as he pulls Mark on top of him. 

Mark repositions them where his legs are on either side of Donghyuck's legs, and where his hands are resting comfortably by his head. 

"It really has been so long," Donghyuck looks up at him, twirling a piece of Mark's hair around his finger. "My fingers and my hands are good, but they're never enough and not nearly as good as—"

Mark cuts him off with a deep kiss, something so deep that it aches. 

The feeling of kissing Donghyuck rocks through Mark's body, especially after hearing him say those words all of a sudden. 

His mouth is warm, he's always tasted warm, _Mark begins to remember their past kisses,_ but this one feels the warmest. Mark's chest is pounding, rattling almost as Donghyuck rolls his body upward and as he licks into Mark's mouth with no hesitation. Mark can't complain though because he's doing the same, pushing his knee up between Donghyuck's legs and dropping his body onto the boy's.

_Fuck slow._

_They've waited forever for this moment._

Mark whimpers when Donghyuck touches the bottom of his shirt.

"Can you take this off?" Donghyuck kisses the bottom of his chin. "Do you want to?"

It only takes a second for Mark to sit up and rip the thing off of his body, tossing it somewhere across the room. (It lands on the television) The feeling of their warm skin touching makes Mark hiss, makes him breathe out a sigh into Donghyuck's mouth, one that rises goosebumps onto his skin. He feels Donghyuck's nails scratching at the backs of his forearms when he lets his body rest flat on top of Donghyuck's, cores touching, waists touching, _everything touching._

Mark uses one hand to cup Donghyuck's cheek as he moves to his jaw, softly laughing when he recognizes that the boy is half hard underneath him.

"Stop laughing," Donghyuck presses his hand at the base of Mark's back, pulling him harder against him. "Do you blame me? It's been forever."

Mark makes his way back to Donghyuck's lips to press something soft there, "I _don't_ blame you, baby."

Donghyuck bites down on his lip and holds both hands at Mark's back, rolling his hips upward until Mark groans deeply, dropping his face into Donghyuck's neck, where he soon bites down and begins to breathe heavily.

"Look who's hard, now," Donghyuck teases. 

"Well, you just fucking — geez, Donghyuck!" Mark climbs off of his lap and glares into his eyes, breathing heavily as he raises his eyebrow. 

Donghyuck grabs onto his cheeks and presses their mouths together again, giving him a deep kiss, something that makes Mark's stomach spin slowly, familiar honey coating over him, history repeating itself as Donghyuck chuckles into his mouth. 

He's running his fingers down Mark's chest, turning and pushing until he gets the opportunity to sit right on Mark's waist. 

It's then when Mark thinks that he's never seen anything as beautiful as Lee Donghyuck. 

He even has to place his forearm over his eyes to hide himself, because looking up at Donghyuck like this is almost too much for him. 

The way he touches him, the way he's feeling him, it's all so... new, but so familiar that it makes Mark's heart soar, makes him feel at home again — makes him feel like he belongs. And he does, he definitely belongs here with Donghyuck, in this bed, in this city, right here in his arms, where he has the opportunity to grow with him as a couple, and as an individual. 

Mark thinks he's so lucky.

“Some things about you are different, Donghyuck,” Mark mutters softly, the words falling right past his lips as he cups the younger’s cheek. “Your hair is different, you changed the style in which you dress, but your touch remains the same — it’s beautiful.”

Donghyuck smiles down at him, a tiny smirk on his face as he thumbs at Mark's chin, his lips, his cheeks... just every part of his face. 

"You deserve to be happy, Mark," Donghyuck leans down to kiss the warm part of his cheek, the part of his jaw that he knows Mark loves to be kissed at. "I promise I will make you so happy."

Mark knows it's true, he trusts Donghyuck, and he's ready for his life with him. 

He knows they're stronger, he knows they can take on anything that the world will give them... because they're Mark and Donghyuck, they're Donghyuck and Mark, and life can fuck them in all different kinds of ways, and they'll fuck it right back.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [twt](https://twitter.com/hyuckios)


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